I’ve been feeling down lately. It’s practicum/school/supervision during the week, then the weekends are used to catch up on errands that I wasn’t able to do during the week and/or do homework. Mainly homework. I rarely see my “friends” (mainly because I really don’t feel like spending my free time with people that I’m just acquaintances with, and my good friends are far away or not available). Not dating anybody. My life has been a bit lackluster and it’s been a bit lonely.
So I decided to go on a mini “do whatever will make me happier” spree.
- I changed my soaps to natural stuff because, hey, chemicals aren’t that great for your skin.Thanks for your African black soap suggestion thoughtfillednomad, I think it cleared up my face a bit. Eventually I’ll transfer everything to all natural stuff as I finish the ones I currently have.
- I’m taking vitamins to combat my exhaustion and get all the good stuff I’m not getting from my diet.
- I’m cooking for myself more and eat a vegetarian/ somewhat vegan based diet because it’s easier on my stomach and I feel better overall (although I do indulge in a meat meal occasionally. I heart Korean food, what can I say).
- No coffee. Caffeine now comes from tea.
- I watch Netflix and drink a glass of wine Thursday nights after class and sleep in on Friday because I fuckin deserve it
- Therapy for the therapist. Apparently not processing through past resentments and not letting them go is not good for you (totally sarcastic btw)
- Shutting off my brain an hour before bed. It helps with sleep. And sleep makes me happy. Verrryyyy happy.
I found out there is a yoga studio within walking distance from me that is cheap, so I’m signing up next week for some classes. I realize that getting out of the “OC Bubble” (or rather, the “North OC Bubble”) makes me happy, so I’m trying to make plans with friends that outside the radius. I don’t know if I have the energy to put myself out there to date and make new friends at the moment, but maybe later I will. Baby steps.
Someone told me recently, “If something in your life doesn’t make you happy, just change it.” Simple enough.
I hope they ask about me & I hope you tell them you fucked up.
— (via misslucy-rose)
i never hit reblog so fast in my life
Every woman should see herself looking uniquely breathtaking, in something tailored to celebrate her body, so that she is better able to appreciate her own beauty and better equipped to withstand the ideals of our narrow-waisted, narrow- minded culture.
— Susan Jane Gilman (via observando)
Extreme stress, depression or anxiety can lead to depersonalisation, a mental condition where you feel out of touch with yourself.
— (via mrfournights)
You’re the only one that can put pressure on yourself… No one else can put pressure on you. It’s self-inflicted. For me, I just want to go out and play football.
— Maurice Jones-Drew (via observando)
Major Life Update.
I haven’t written a real entry on this blog for awhile. Partly because I deleted the app on my phone. But a mainly because I’m typically a private person and I don’t know how I feel about sharing my thoughts on the web. But hey, what the hell. I made some great friends on Tumblr. Some of them actually use this to see what I’m up to. So why not do a life update. It’s about time.
I started my counseling internship at an elementary school. I’m technically the school counselor. I don’t work have a therapist I’m working under, which is nice yet daunting at the same time. Nobody knows who I am, and frankly don’t really seem that receptive towards me, so it’s been a few weeks of marketing myself basically. I’m not going to lie, it’s been a frustrating waiting game to get students to see. Many of the other members of my group supervisions are already seeing 6-8 clients, mainly due to having follow up students from the previous year. I have 2 referrals, but haven’t gotten the consent forms back from the parents, which doesn’t let me see them. But I’m still grateful. The school is in a high SES area, the parents are cooperative when speaking to me, and the faculty are professional. It feels like I’m on my own island sometimes, but that’s pretty normal for school therapists (apparently). Overall, I’m enjoying it, minus having to be there by 7:30 am.
School is… demanding. I think I came to terms with the fact that I may not get the grades I want this semester. I just have to do the best I can with the limitations I have now that I haven’t had previously.
I have had a really rough go around with people lately. From someone accusing me of trying to “ruin her marriage,” another person I considered a genuine friend pursing my recent ex (*cough G cough. Apparently some people do no abide by GIRL CODE), to hearing myself described in really degrading ways by others without them having an actual reason to do so… it’s been a process growing a thicker skin. It’s still a work in progress. I’ve come to the conclusion (a very obvious one) that some people just are really shitty people and just plain SUCK. It’s unavoidable, and they’re everywhere. All I can do about it is to be more careful with who I surround myself with.
Rereading what I wrote, I realize that I sound like a huge baby. But I’m trying not to be. I’m tired a majority of the time, I’m not ecstatic 24/7, but I’m grateful with what I have right now. I’m telling myself this period of my life is MY transition into adulthood (even though I’m TECHNICALLY an adult). I have more responsibilities, constantly challenging and pushing myself to evolve into the kind of person I want to become, and a step closer to having the career I want.
I’m just doing me.
You can’t outwit fate by standing on the sidelines placing little sidebets about the outcome of life. Either you wade in and risk everything you have to play the game or you don’t play at all. And if you don’t play you can’t win.
— Judith McNaught (via chrissystockton)
قمة العظمه…..أن تبتسم وفي عينيك الف دمعه…
The pinnacle of excellence is to smile when your eyes have one thousand tears.
— Arabic Proverb (via lipstick-bullet)